"I did not like it," I told him; "I did not respect such ceremonies; I
wished to see no more."
And having relieved my conscience by this declaration, I was able to
go on, and, speaking more currently and clearly than my wont, to show
him that I had a mind to keep to my reformed creed; the more I saw of
Popery the closer I clung to Protestantism; doubtless there were
errors in every church, but I now perceived by contrast how severely
pure was my own, compared with her whose painted and meretricious face
had been unveiled for my admiration. I told him how we kept fewer
forms between us and God; retaining, indeed, no more than, perhaps,
the nature of mankind in the mass rendered necessary for due
observance. I told him I could not look on flowers and tinsel, on wax-
lights and embroidery, at such times and under such circumstances as
should be devoted to lifting the secret vision to Him whose home is
Infinity, and His being--Eternity. That when I thought of sin and
sorrow, of earthly corruption, mortal depravity, weighty temporal woe
--I could not care for chanting priests or mumming officials; that when
the pains of existence and the terrors of dissolution pressed before
me--when the mighty hope and measureless doubt of the future arose in
view--_then_, even the scientific strain, or the prayer in a
language learned and dead, harassed: with hindrance a heart which only
longed to cry--"God be merciful to me, a sinner!"
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