"I have seen it: go on."
"The seal was too beautiful to be broken, so I cut it round with my
scissors. On the point of reading the letter at last, I once more drew
back voluntarily; it was too soon yet to drink that draught--the
sparkle in the cup was so beautiful--I would watch it yet a minute.
Then I remembered all at once that I had not said my prayers that
morning. Having heard papa go down to breakfast a little earlier than
usual, I had been afraid of keeping him waiting, and had hastened to
join him as soon as dressed, thinking no harm to put off prayers till
afterwards. Some people would say I ought to have served God first and
then man; but I don't think heaven could be jealous of anything I
might do for papa. I believe I am superstitious. A voice seemed now to
say that another feeling than filial affection was in question--to
urge me to pray before I dared to read what I so longed to read--to
deny myself yet a moment, and remember first a great duty. I have had
these impulses ever since I can remember. I put the letter down and
said my prayers, adding, at the end, a strong entreaty that whatever
happened, I might not be tempted or led to cause papa any sorrow, and
might never, in caring for others, neglect him. The very thought of
such a possibility, so pierced my heart that it made me cry. But
still, Lucy, I felt that in time papa would have to be taught the
truth, managed, and induced to hear reason.
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