"You evaded?"
"I shuffled and equivocated, you know. However, I am going to speak
the truth now; it is getting darker; one can talk at one's ease. Papa
often lets me open the letter-bag and give him out the contents. One
morning, about three weeks ago, you don't know how surprised I was to
find, amongst a dozen letters for M. de Bassompierre, a note addressed
to Miss de Bassompierre. I spied it at once, amidst all the rest; the
handwriting was not strange; it attracted me directly. I was going to
say, 'Papa, here is another letter from Dr. Bretton;' but the 'Miss'
struck me mute. I actually never received a letter from a gentleman
before. Ought I to have shown it to papa, and let him open it and read
it first? I could not for my life, Lucy. I know so well papa's ideas
about me: he forgets my age; he thinks I am a mere school-girl; he is
not aware that other people see I am grown up as tall as I shall be;
so, with a curious mixture of feelings, some of them self-reproachful,
and some so fluttering and strong, I cannot describe them, I gave papa
his twelve letters--his herd of possessions--and kept back my one, my
ewe-lamb. It lay in my lap during breakfast, looking up at me with an
inexplicable meaning, making me feel myself a thing double-existent--a
child to that dear papa, but no more a child to myself. After
breakfast I carried my letter up-stairs, and having secured myself by
turning the key in the door, I began to study the outside of my
treasure: it was some minutes before I could get over the direction
and penetrate the seal; one does not take a strong place of this kind
by instant storm--one sits down awhile before it, as beleaguers say.
Graham's hand is like himself, Lucy, and so is his seal--all clear,
firm, and rounded--no slovenly splash of wax--a full, solid, steady
drop--a distinct impress; no pointed turns harshly pricking the optic
nerve, but a clean, mellow, pleasant manuscript, that soothes you as
you read. It is like his face--just like the chiselling of his
features: do you know his autograph?"
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