Quotation from: Villette

Written by: Charlotte Bronte


I was no bright lady's shadow--not Miss de Bassompierre's. Overcast
enough it was my nature often to be; of a subdued habit I was: but the
dimness and depression must both be voluntary--such as kept me docile
at my desk, in the midst of my now well-accustomed pupils in Madame
Beck's fist classe; or alone, at my own bedside, in her dormitory, or
in the alley and seat which were called mine, in her garden: my
qualifications were not convertible, nor adaptable; they could not be
made the foil of any gem, the adjunct of any beauty, the appendage of
any greatness in Christendom. Madame Beck and I, without assimilating,
understood each other well. I was not _her_ companion, nor her
children's governess; she left me free: she tied me to nothing--not to
herself--not even to her interests: once, when she had for a fortnight
been called from home by a near relation's illness, and on her return,
all anxious and full of care about her establishment, lest something
in her absence should have gone wrong finding that matters had
proceeded much as usual, and that there was no evidence of glaring
neglect--she made each of the teachers a present, in acknowledgment of
steadiness. To my bedside she came at twelve o'clock at night, and
told me she had no present for me: "I must make fidelity advantageous
to the St. Pierre," said she; "if I attempt to make it advantageous to
you, there will arise misunderstanding between us--perhaps separation.
One thing, however, I _can_ do to please you--leave you alone
with your liberty: c'est-ce que je ferai." She kept her word. Every
slight shackle she had ever laid on me, she, from that time, with
quiet hand removed. Thus I had pleasure in voluntarily respecting her
rules: gratification in devoting double time, in taking double pains
with the pupils she committed to my charge.

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