Quotation from: Ulysses

Written by: James Joyce


And yet and yet! That strained look on her face! A gnawing sorrow is
there all the time. Her very soul is in her eyes and she would give worlds
to be in the privacy of her own familiar chamber where, giving way to
tears, she could have a good cry and relieve her pentup feelingsthough not
too much because she knew how to cry nicely before the mirror. You are
lovely, Gerty, it said. The paly light of evening falls upon a face
infinitely sad and wistful. Gerty MacDowell yearns in vain. Yes, she had
known from the very first that her daydream of a marriage has been
arranged and the weddingbells ringing for Mrs Reggy Wylie T. C. D.
(because the one who married the elder brother would be Mrs Wylie) and in
the fashionable intelligence Mrs Gertrude Wylie was wearing a sumptuous
confection of grey trimmed with expensive blue fox was not to be. He was
too young to understand. He would not believe in love, a woman's
birthright. The night of the party long ago in Stoer's (he was still in
short trousers) when they were alone and he stole an arm round her waist
she went white to the very lips. He called her little one in a strangely
husky voice and snatched a half kiss (the first!) but it was only the end
of her nose and then he hastened from the room with a remark about
refreshments. Impetuous fellow! Strength of character had never been Reggy
Wylie's strong point and he who would woo and win Gerty MacDowell must be
a man among men. But waiting, always waiting to be asked and it was leap
year too and would soon be over. No prince charming is her beau ideal to
lay a rare and wondrous love at her feet but rather a manly man with a
strong quiet face who had not found his ideal, perhaps his hair slightly
flecked with grey, and who would understand, take her in his sheltering
arms, strain her to him in all the strength of his deep passionate nature
and comfort her with a long long kiss. It would be like heaven. For such
a one she yearns this balmy summer eve. With all the heart of her she
longs to be his only, his affianced bride for riches for poor, in sickness
in health, till death us two part, from this to this day forward.

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